Hello, my name is Cynthia Faith Lester, one of three sisters, Hope, Faith and Charity. I have been called Cynthia, Cindy, Buffy (a nickname picked up as a child from watching Family Affair) and also Faith. I came to know the Lord as my savior when I was ten years old at a small church revival. I knew I had just made a big decision and felt the Holy Spirit come into my life even though I didn't quite understand what was taking place. I did notice that I wanted the "glow", as I call it, that I saw in some Christians I was around. They just seemed to me, as a ten year old, more "saved" and closer to the Lord. That's what I hoped to have by accepting the Lord in my life.
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Little did I know it wasn't that easy. As I grew older and coming from a broken home, I continued my journey for my "glow." I was usually in church whether with my granny, friends, or babysitters. I eventually married and had two wonderful children at a young age. At the age of 23 I was diagnosed, however, with panic disorder. I was constantly thinking I had some terminal illness or that I was going to die. I had a nervous breakdown and spent 30 days in the hospital.
My mother, who I thank God for, was there to cheer me on to trust in God and not have all this fear that I experienced time and time again over a period of years to come. Each time I would pray for all the medical test results to be okay and for Him to help me with my fears. The people in my life still called me one of my names, whether it was Buffy, Cynthia, Cindy, or Faith. But for some reason I wasn't comfortable with Faith. It just didn't fit. And I still couldn't understand why I didn't have my glow and the peace and joy that the people I knew with glow had.
Five years ago after several failed marriages I met my husband Mike. We made the decision to commit our lives to not only go to church but to have a closer, more dedicated life to the Lord. Maybe I had found my answer. It did not come, however, without more medical tests and periods of panic for me. I just didn't understand what I was not doing or doing wrong. Why couldn't I have peace and the glow?
We had been coming to Central for two years but didn't really know anyone. I was praying for a closer walk with God and praying about membership and about becoming a part of this church, but they were prayers without actions. But the Lord heard my prayers and figured I needed a sledge hammer to do what I needed to do.
On May 29, 2007, the answers to a lot of my questions and prayers started to unfold. I was at work where I had worked for eight years. A young man that I had talked to on several occasions about a particular used bike we had was ready to be sold now after some repairs that had to be done. The young man came in to get the motorcycle and said he was waiting on his friend to come with the rest of his money and a trailer to take it home. This went on for an hour but his friend never came.
I was sitting at my desk doing some paperwork, having a pleasant conversation with this young man. At that time my co-worker came and sat at my desk facing me. We were both looking down over some papers when from out of nowhere came a gunshot. I looked down and saw that I had been shot and without looking up (which was a blessing from God) I got up and ran down the hall screaming, "I've been shot, all 911." When I got to the end of the hall I looked up and the young man was there looking at me trying to get his gun unjammed to shoot me again.
I looked at him and said, "Are you the one who shot me? Why did you shoot me?" He didn't say a word; he just looked at me like he didn't have an answer. I was confused because I first thought when I saw him that he was running from the shooter, also, until I saw he had the gun. Then another co-worker pulled me in her office and closed the door and called 911.
Everyone who knows me knows how panicky I am and I pass out at the sight of blood. Some people say it was shock that took over and got me down that hall wearing the flat shoes I had on that day (I always wore heels). But I know differently. The Lord took over and led me down that hall and had me do exactly what I needed to do. He also had me look face-to-face at my shooter to show me that He was in control and protecting me. Thank you God.
The minutes waiting on the ambulance and the ride to the MED were filled with a pain I can't describe. My arm was dangling and I thought it was going to fall off at any time. I had asked my co-worker to tie my arm up to control the bleeding, again, something normally against my nature, but I was being directed by God.
I remember lying there at the hospital surrounded by doctors and nurses and other than the pain I was relatively calm. I was thinking, "Oh me, I haven't joined the church yet and Pastor Frey, even though I feel like I know him a little from coming for two years, he doesn't know a thing about me and won't be able to hold my funeral and say one thing about me."
The doctor told me I was going to surgery and that I had a very serious injury in which the artery was hit and that I might lose my arm. I was still calm and said a prayer that if I died in surgery for the Lord to bring me home. Getting a kiss from my husband on the way to surgery I asked him who the other person shot was. He told me it was my co-worker. I asked if he was alive and okay and he said "no."
Seven to eight hours later I woke up to learn my arm was saved provided no infection set in. Praise the Lord. A few days after coming home from the hospital, when the major pain meds wore off, terror set in. I was scared of every little noise. My family would announce to me they were entering the room. I wouldn't go outside or anywhere else. If I was in my living room I would lay on my couch with my head down in fear of being shot through the windows. Family and friends prayed for me constantly not knowing what to say or do.
They don't know how much they did just being there with me. I finally called Central Church and requested to speak with Pastor Frey. He and his wonderful wife Ann came to visit me. They gave me Scriptures to help me with my fearful thoughts that were consuming me. The pastor made a comment while there that I remember being one of the first times I laughed. He said, "Wow, Cindy, I don't think I've ever talked to anyone who's been shot before." I needed that laugh. Thank you.
In mid-June my nephew was married and my mother came from Louisiana to attend and stayed with me. My sister, her husband, and I drove her home to Louisiana the weekend following the wedding. I felt a little safer while being there. No one knew me and the thought of someone coming after me was a little less.
Even though the young man who shot me was killed in a car accident after leaving that same day, I still felt someone was after me. It was an awful feeling. Why was this happening? I hadn't done anything to anyone, treated every customer equal and nice, yet I felt hunted. I felt no anger at this young man. He was a 17 year old kid, some mother's baby boy. I only pray that he repented on his short ride before his death. Maybe, just maybe, I left him with a feeling of remorse at that last moment of looking in his eyes.
It was time for us to come home to Memphis. I had to leave my mother who I felt safe with. I just wanted my mommy. But I had to go. I remember going in her bathroom to hide from everyone. I lay in her floor crying, sobbing to God like never before. I was at a crossroad and both directions seemed impossible. Would I become an agoraphobic, commit suicide, somehow face my fears. I cried the whole eight hour trip home, sobbing to my sister about how terrified I was of going home.
I then did something that was very, very hard for me. I totally submitted to God. It may seem easy but for me it was huge. It was hard to do. I was so desperate for God, I was praying prayers that had nothing superficial, unlike ones before that were always heartfelt, but ones that took every bit of my heart, energy, and cries to please hear me, answer me, help me.
Day by day the Lord started giving me just what I needed to begin healing and a new journey with Him. I was in counseling now and my first assignment was to sit on my front porch for 10 minutes a day. My first day I went out for three or four minutes. While there I noticed the prettiest little red-bellied robin sitting probably two feet from me. I wondered why he didn't fly away, but he didn't. The days to follow as my time increased outside, the robin was still there. I then knew and felt His presence was for me to know I wasn't alone and I was okay.
The nights were hard. The news seemed to show the shooting story daily, and if not that one, another one somewhere else. I was scared to watch it but scared not to in fear of not being equipped to know what was going on. The Lord met that need, also. My husband came home with a print out called
Rumors of War. I found just what I needed. The reading said to stop watching the news through their eyes, to get out my Bible and believe it, to put my faith first and protect my mind, instead of flooding it with things of the world. It said not to be afraid to turn off the TV and bury my nose in the Bible for fear of being caught off guard. Instead, by doing so, I'd be more equipped to handle them than before.
Days were passing and I was slowly starting to feel like a turtle who was cautiously sticking his head out. The terror was getting decreased to fear, but it was still there. I was beginning to have to spend small amounts of time home alone and upon doing so realized I wasn't alone at all.
I remember being upstairs one morning and hearing something downstairs at the same time my dogs were also crying to go downstairs to go outside. I knew I had to go down there. As I slowly went down trembling, every step a verse from the pamphlet that I had also looked up in the Bible and read again and again, came to mind. Psalm 91:2,3 became my way to do things and go places that were extremely hard to do.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver me from the snare.
Thank God for giving me what I needed!
One Sunday morning I was leaving church, but I didn't want to because I had developed a hunger and thirst for the Word and couldn't get enough. While driving and being scared to go home I was blessed by opening my Bible to Job 22:18.
Yet it was he who filled the houses with good things, so I stand aloof from the counsel of the wicked.
I went home and framed two oil paintings, one of praying hands, one of Jesus, and several more signs and verses that came to catch my attention while looking at my windows. About the same time, my aunt referred me to Isaiah 41:9-13.
I said, "You are my servant. I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced. Those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'"
Again, thank you God for meeting my needs.
Suddenly it occurred to me, from time spent in the Word and many conversations with God, that this was the start and the way to get my "glow" I always wanted to have. My husband and I joined Central Church, which I love dearly. I feel at home here and the Holy Spirit I feel here brings me joy and peace through God that I never want to be away from.
Just as a relationship with a spouse, a child, or a friend, or anyone else, requires time spent, and just as a new relationship blossoms between a man and woman, leaving you wanting to be around them more and more, so I've found an ever present, ever faithful, best friend to whom I want to be closer. I never want that to fade in the slightest. Also, my name badge I got when I joined the church reads "Faith Lester." It feels comfortable now that I know my identity.
I lost a lot of things as a result of 5-29-07:
- Working at a job I enjoyed with good friends. That could never be the same now.
- I lost a lot of sleep from nightmares and endless nights of no sleep.
- Financially, my family's life is different than we were used to.
- I've lost the feeling and strength in my fingers and arm that will never be the same.
But with all I've lost I've gained so much more:
- New friends that I cherish.
- Time, time that I've never had before to spend with God, time to attend Bible studies and being involved. This time is truly a blessing. I'm so thankful for this time to develop everything that comes from time spent praising Him, learning, and worshiping Him.
- I've found the answers to questions I've been in search of all my life.
So yes, May 29, 2007 was a very bad day in my life in so many ways, but I can honestly say it was also a day of a new beginning, a time of truly feeling like and being a child of God. That's worth more than anything that I had before that day in my life.
Though I will never feel earthly things with my right hand the way I had before, I feel something greater. The Lord is holding my right hand and will hold it as tight as I need for the rest of my life.
Cynthia Faith Lester
[Thank you from Cindy Lester:
Lynn Peoples and the prayer shawl circle, I feel the love and prayers put into the making of the shawl every time I put it on. Debbie Roper, the leader of my friendships of women group I love you thanks for being there and everyone else that prayed for me in bible study. The women in the crosswalks store thank you for helping me with materials needed and the warmness of the frienship you extended to me. Randall Johnson thank you for praying with me for me annointing me and calling to check on me; you're someone I trust to talk about it all with.. I thank each one of you and most of all thank God for having everyone there for me.]
